Let's give them somthing to talk about.

<3

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 06:51:21 GMT

i haaate having crushes. me and shawn are talking. he doesnt talk to other girls and i dont talk to other guys. the age difference sucksss, but it doesnt really matter cause he gives me butterflies and hes just what i need to get over wanderson. :)
i dont know if i wanna be in a relationship with him though cause i LOVE being singlee, but at the same time its winter and i like having someone to snuggle withhh. we were supposed to go ice skating together a few days ago but i had to work. boooo :(

so weird..

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:26:04 GMT

so i have a crush!@@!#
i usually dont GET crushes. i just hook up with guys and leave, cause straight up i have a mans mentality. sooo, yesterday me ben, steven, brian and their friend matt all went bowling then kicked it at stevens house after.. we just drank and played pool and shit. and of course i got drunk and ended up cuddling with him. we made out & other stuff.. haha. but i didnt even have sex with himmm! then in the AM to avoid all akwardness we went to his house and just laid in his bed for a few hours. we watched porn and spooned. ahaha. hes cute. he was the goalie for the barnstable soccer team for all four years.. but hes not like the athletic type. hes wickedddd artistic and has like a skaterish sense of style.. and best part if, his moms straight from panama. YUMMMM. :)he visited me at work yesterday and i got butterflys. this gave me reason to leave wanderson for good.. ive just been ignoring him, its easier.. :) <3

thug life.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:54:43 GMT

life is good. looooove my new job & the people i work with. mad hawtiez.

fuckers.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:10:35 GMT

soo, this week has blowed quite severly, lemme just start..

-broke up with boyfriend. awesome.. for the 56th time. still it puts a downer on my week.
-lost my job partly due to the fact that i drank one too many glasses of wine at wandersons house, smoked one too many bowls. woke up realizing i not only wet his bed, but also got my period all over it and the bathroom floor. thankfully, i have no shame. however, i took my shitty hangover as an opportunity to do a no call no show at work, cause i HATE working for renato. i start working in hyannis sunday.
-im broke, and freaked i wont be able to pay my bills this month and my car will get repossessed.
-some fat bull dyke lesbian is starting shit, which led to a shitty ass boring weekend that involved me watching judge judy reruns with my mom. while ALL my friends were back from college and got together. did i see any of them? NOPE.

awesome week for sure.
my tanning membership is also running out, and thats also quite upsetting. :)

so..

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:47:54 GMT

i just found out my best friend moved to providence and became a prostitute.

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:02:02 GMT

soo, this weekend was the usual lameness.
worked 32 hours in 2 and a half days, with barely any relax time.
spent the weekend with wando, obv.
its really sad.. i think im becoming unattrcted to him. is that possible?
i still care about him, LOTS. and i could say i still loved him but.. i cant hvae sex with him like we used to! haha.. really. i cant even kiss him hardly, because im not really attracted to him anymore. was with him for nearly two years, and i though he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.. but i cant even do it anymore.. i dont know, im still just really confused with the situation right now..
ON ANOTHER NOTE- went out with a guy today, from bwater.
hes very youngish.. hes 18.. soooo not used to that, and he was just really shy and so unsure of himself.. im not used to that. im used to really confident guys..
ps, im scared ill fail school because i never go.

qoues of the week
"I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS, I WISH I COULD JUST RUN AROUND YOU GUYS BUTT ASS NAKED"-my mom
"yo bukkrack was hangin out gurrl, i wanted to put a quarter in it"-blackie.

buttface.

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 02:30:37 GMT

-i did somthing so very retarted this morning.
-i almost walked out of my jobs 12 times today.
-i love my work friends. i wish i could have taken them back to college with me.
-im leaving this shit ass college and getting an apartment with wando, so i can chill out for a bit.
-i love kool-aid, and i need to go tanning.

kc.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:21:52 GMT

so today was the first day at my internship. theres a whole FOUR fucking kids in the class. im not even kidding.. why are we paying taxes on having all these preschool teachers, when we dont even need them? but its kinda cool, because 2 of the kids are special needs, and the othe two are model students. walking to the elementary school is a bitch though.. my favorite comments from men were
"soooooo hott"
" HI!"
and my aboslute fav.. "i'd hit that so hard"
its awesome.

ps. i decided for the rest of my time here, i'm going to become a library clam.
pps. i wanna become a coyote ugly girl.
ppps. i love kristin cavellari.

so effin lame.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:37:08 GMT

so probally havent written in about a year. but..
i'm at college, and no lie.. its the most boring thing i've ever done. my expectations were so high, i though college was gonna be a huge party, and i would meet buttloads of people. i've only made about a few friends.. and i feel like i just sit and ROT in my room.. i literally do nothing. except when i eat dinner with chy. its gotten so bad that I resort to taking the train to boston at least once a week because its so lame here. i havent found a job yet & im sick of going home every weekened to bang out 12 hour shifts. literally, i work 34 hours in two and a half days. IUHIDH.. and moneys tight, i have to pull $900 outta my bum every month for bills. and its barely happeneing. i freaked out last night when wanderson was driving me home, because i was just soo unhappy and stressed. he made it all better.. and he offered to help me out, and pay my bills for the month. i dont know how he puts up with me cause i think i told him to shut the fuck up every time he tried to console me. haha

ps. i think im switching my major to fashion merchandising. :)

Rant.

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 01:09:24 GMT

So, I havent written in a long time. Literally, I just have not had the time. My life is insane. Im going to school full time and working 40 hours a week just to pay for rent, cell phone, car insurance, college, gas and food. Yesterday I worked from 10am-1am. Fucking 15 hours. I never have time to even see my friends anymore. Though many of them think i'm just too busy fucking wanderson. I'm not. I barely ever see him.
My little sister just got admitted into a mental hospital. My moms freaking out. My mom cant afford barely any food for thanksgiving, because she missed so much work. My car has an inch thick layer of ice on the ground where the gas and break pedals are. I'm sweating balls because the brazilian midget that lives with me has a problem staying warm, so the heats on about 85 degrees. I dont feel like doing laundry, though I badly need to.
I hate the stereotype that goes along with the people attending CCCC's. It's not true, I have met more inteligent people attending this school than any other person that left to go to a "real" college.
I hate my job more than ever. 30% of the people there are pathological liars. 60% of them are fucking morons that need to lay off the drugs. 10% of them I actually get along with.

I think I just need a deep tissue massage.

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 02:57:14 GMT

TWO THOUSAND FUCKING EIIIGHTT. we graduate!ahhhhh. i'm so pumped, i fucking hate being confined in falmouth, it absolutley blows. my testicles.

so little life update.
-got an actual haircut. shoulder length. i miss curling my hair. =[ but it's cool beans i suppose.
-i hate my fucking job so much, and especially the assistant manager, kevin. if you ever read this i beg of you to throw yourself off the nearest cliff, and excessively bleed. thank you.
-college app's all set (minus the shitty fee's)
-i'm in love with a man who speaks minimal english. and i just dont give a fuck what anyone thinks. =] cause i'm actually realllyyyhappy for once.
-i've been sick for two consecutive months with some unknown virus. woohoo!
-i actually shave myu legs every night now. mostly.
-forever 21 is my favorite store of all time, and i would like to fuck every member of brand new.
-i plan on getting a bagillion tatoo's when i turn eighteen.

that's all for tonight. =]

i hate my life.

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 04:10:38 GMT

So, people think my fear of public speaking is a joke.
They think, "oh you'll be fine, shutup!"

So.. Friday I had an oral in english. I have been basically crapping my pants since I got the assignment. I got up there, said about 3 words clearly.. then for the rest of the sentence, my voice started shaking, and I legit, started crying! My eyes started to water, and I shook my head and told him I couldn't do it.
Thennn. as if that wasn't embarassing and traumatizing enough, he had to call me out after class. He aske dwhen I wanted to do it again, and I asked if I could go after school somtime. He goes "Oh, no.. you're gonna try it again Monday.." I want to fucken throw myself off a cliff. This means that before Monday, I have to somehow get a doctors note of soem sort, and try to get put on meds. Ughhh, it's wicked serious. I wish it came easier for mee.
Well.. I have a massive wedgie, and my fake eyelashes are falling into my eyeballs. =]
sweet!

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 00:27:58 GMT

college makes me wanna crap my pants.
can i get an amen?

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 03:30:52 GMT

Rhode Island was wfucking amazing.
I'm determined that someday I will have two gay roomates.
They're the best.

And I'm pretty sure he told me he loved me tonight.. weird.
But flattering?

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:04:12 GMT

So.. here's the deal.
I don't think i've been this happy in my entire life..

I had some regrets about a week ago. but i'm starting to feel better about myself. In general, having a boyfriend has made me feel like i'm on top of the world. I've never had the feeling that someone actually likes me. I've always been the girl watching with hopeful eyes as their friends get pretty for the boyfriends. I've been the girl to make the magic happen between two people, yet never one to actually do something for herself. My new motto for this year is; do somthing for yoruself for once. If it makes you happy, do it.
I'm trying to grow a backbone. It's hard to say no to some friends without seeming like a bitch. I don't know.. i'm a giving person, but lately it's felt like i've been having people just walk all over me.

Other than that.. my self esteem has skyrocketed. I'm way more social this year. I'm still trying hard in school. I tutor two freshman, and I help out in the special ed room. Next week, i'll start interning at Teacticket School. I'm secretary of Best Buddies. I'm working a ton of hours, but that'll change soon, since I just got offered a job at the VNA daycare, getting payed almost double what i make now. So.. basically, i've just felt wayyy productive and succesfull and happy. It's nice. =]

Even with the shit thats gone on the past few days, i've handled it with a smile. Cool, I just did a hit and run with a mailbox and smashed my windsheild and side mirror and have to pay 250$. I've basically just laughed it off. It's good to be optimistic somtimes.

<33 Peace&Love.

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 00:19:08 GMT

Well.. somebody finally rained on my parade.
For th past two weeks, i've been living on this high- getting my liscence, sorta being in a new relationship, going on a giant shopping spree.
Today was the downfall. I woke up an hour and a half late for work. Got out of work with ShyAnne only to find that my car wouldnt start. My mom refused to come help me. She thought it was hilarious that I would be stuck at work for 5 hours. Few of my friends even gave a shit, excpet for Will. I was nearly on the verge of tears until I got ahold of him. His grandmother had to come pick us up and bring us to Wills house. Wills dad brought us down to my car, with a hammer and started my car for me.
My new fucking key is a hammer.
He told me that my starter needs to be replaced, and taught me a method of starting my car until then.
Someone has to turn the key, while anothe rperson uses a hammer to bash this metal peice in my hood.
It's the most ghettoest peice of shit contraption i've ever seen. And thats how its gonna be for a while until I can come up with the money for a starter. I have about 30$ in change to my name right now, and a starter costs about 120$ not including labor. My paycheck was supposed to finish off the rest of school shopping and get me a haircut possibly.
I ask for help, but she never gives it to me.
I wish for once I could just get some helpppp!

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 11:10:52 GMT

i got my fucking liscense finally!!

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 04:07:23 GMT

so update-
jess has new crush.
fucking wanderboyy.
yeah.. he's slightly brazilian and he tosses salads, but he's like a doofy looking kid, and he's not creepy and manly looking (which i hate). he looks like someone i can trust.
"oh jessica, i love you.."
"wanderson.. no you dont. in america its different. you say "i love you" to your mother, your wife/husband, or girlfriend/boyfriend of a really long time."
"well, what if everyone in the world died tommorow? you have to tell people you love them."
haha, wicked cute.
or when i taught him the phrase "i like to have sex with carrots" and had him call up all my friends and tell them. haha it's fun.

friend situation is good.
i enjoy deep talks with lalli.
i'm getting closer to elysha. out of all my friends, i think i have the most respect for her.
still trying to visit katiiehead more. it's just hard without a car.
i still pray for meghan everyday. i hope she finds happiness in whatever the hell shes doing.

however, i'm falling away from others. not by choice but simply for the fact that they will change for anyone.

i have a fucking car! damn straight, a 96' silver ford taurus. its wicked flossy, but theres a shitload wrong with it, and it currently sports a big red R sticker. hellll yeaaaah.

oh, and steven mcdonough if you read this.
go fuck yourself you worthless peice of rotting shit. =]
thank you for your time.

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 01:00:06 GMT

I hate people who have drunken sex.
I hate oblivious people.
And I absolutley hate not having a car.

so far..

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 23:56:28 GMT

things i have learned this far into summer..
- camping is dumb.
- steve mcdonough is a useless piece of shit.
- tourists are rude fucking assholes, and they are shitty tippers.
- there is hope in me getting my liscense someday.
- i will marry a man named nicholas.
- cell phones are fucking retarded.
- i hate looking like i'm 12 somtimes.
- lalli, klatimer and a-dawg are my soulmates.
- i WILL live in a nudist colony someday.
- jealousy should get shot in the mouth.
- i look silly as a blonde.
- i truly want 163 tatoo's. and about 78 piercings.
- college scares the living daylight outta me.
- dance makes me feel like i'm worth somthing.
- the city life is for mee. yohoho.
- kayaking takes alot of unnecessary energy.

Make-up?

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:17:45 GMT

My life plan before- Work my ass off, with 3.3 GPA. Go to Boston Univerisity or worst case, Bridgewater, and major in Elementary Education and become a 3rd grade teacher.

Possible life plan now- Work ass off with 3.3 GPA. Go to fucken Blaine's. Become a makeup artist, hopefully for M.A.C. and maybe own some salon?

The second one makes no sense at all, but it kinda makes the most sense to me.
The future kinda sucks.

Yum, life.

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 01:52:40 GMT

Today was wicked weird, I was waayyy happy. I said fuck bullshit, and went to school, and did my work for once, and even though I had detention, it was nice.
The only thing that really makes me wanna straight up poop maah pants is the car situation. Drivers Ed teacher told me that it would be useless to get my liscence now, because I would just fail. COOLFUCKINGBEANS. And I cant like practice in my moms beast of a car either. So my plan was to just buy a small car. I have 200$ saved up from a year of working.. and thats not gonna get me anywhere.
And it's just frustrating to see all my friends get their cars given to them on silver platters, while I have to bitch slave making coffee at minimum wage to save up. It just kinda blows.
But HEY COOL.
Bicycles are always an option.

YEEBABY.

Fri, 18 May 2007 01:35:29 GMT

prom in two days.
am i about to pee my pants?
probably.

LAAAME.

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 23:41:07 GMT

wanna know what i hate?
i hate when people make you feel like shit. when all they do is point out your flaws, and they really have anything nice to say. and its the absolute worst when your friends do it. it seems like it's almost turned into a game. let's all pick on jess, and make her want to fall off a cliff. i already have shitty self-esteem as it is, why the hell do they have to make it even worse? and honestly.. i just dont have enough guts to tell them all to shut the fuck up. i'm the type of person who'll just laugh at anything, it's kinda my defense mechanism.

well, anyways.
i'm partially pumped for prom.
i got my dress. my hair appointment. my jewelry. my makeup appointment. trolley booked. and all that jazz..
except, i wish i could find a date. buttt, thats physically, mentally, and hormonically impossible for me.

ALSOOO.
the pod is missing! =[
i think one of my fucken cats ate it. seriously.

pretty colorsss.

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 21:15:26 GMT

so, last night I slept over katie's with adawg.
it was entertaining except for the fact, that i was sick and i sound like a dying sea cow. And then today i skipped school and got lost in hyannus with chelsabum.
but. i got amazing colored hair dye.. candy apple red, and chels got like AMAZIING blue. i have bleach in my hair right now. it's gonna look fucken rad. =] im excited.
and as for prom.. i thought I was going.. under the conditions that my mom buys the dress and shit, cause i honestly cant afford buying a car.. SAT's.. clothes.. and prom. but, my mom decided she was gonna be an asshole and not buy the dress or take me tanning, cause she's a bipolar fuck, and she needs to grow a brain.
coooolfuckingbeans.

oh, and exciting news of my life.
my dad likes to smoke ciggarettes before he comes to my house to pick up my sisters, and throws the buts in my yard, cause he's a flaming asshole. so me and lalli went to the beach the other day and picked up some random ciggarrete buts, and drove over to his house and threw them in his yard. hahaha, asshole. :D